Welcome the the second Creative Mama Roundtable, where I ask extraordinary Creative Mamas to dish on the unique experience of being both an artist and a mother. If you missed the first Roundtable, you can read it right here.
This month's topic is a biggie: TIME. When I asked for creative mamas to submit suggestions for roundtable topics, the issue of time came right up. No surprise there. That's the struggle and and beauty of the creative life: there are rarely set hours, or enough of them.
To tackle this topic, I asked four amazing, creative mamas to tell me just how they juggle everything in their own lives.
Let's meet the mamas!
Rebecca: I am the creative force behind Rebecca Haas Jewelry and Fiddleheads For Fiona Paper Goods, a wife, and a mother of one two year old boy named Emmett. I live and work in a converted dairy barn in Southern Vermont, love animals, everything having to do with the creative process, cooking, fresh vegetables, and taking pictures. (Read Rebecca's blog here)
Audrey: Audrey Hyvonen is a fiber artist living in Easthampton MA. She blogs at hinkypinkie.typepad.com and sells stitched stuff at hinkypinkie.etsy.com.
Timna: Timna is a quilter who lives in South Hadley, MA. She blogs at www.timnatarr.com/blog
Tamara: I am a Freelance Photographer, Writer and Social Media Consultant as well as a Full-Time Toddler Mama living in the best town I've ever known - Northampton, MA. (Read Tamara's blog here)
Okay, let's get this part started!
Me: When do you make time for creative work, and where are your kids while you do it?
Rebecca: My husband and I share the childcare, and we are both self employed and work from home, so that helps a lot, but also requires a lot of juggling and negotiating. At first we could count on a lot of sleeping baby time, so we pretty much both worked durung naps, and then split the awake time in half. As of about 4 weeks ago we now have a babysitter who comes in 3 mornings a week (hallelujah!) and it is so amazing to be able to depend on having at least 3 large chunks of time to work every week, and then we split the rest of the time.
Audrey: At this point in my life, I try to do my creative work while my kids are at school. I reserve Tuesdays for work at home, design and set-up, and any computer work. I reserve Thursdays for a social sew day, where I meet with two friends from 9-2 weekly, and sew, eat, sew and chat. I spend one to two Sunday afternoons a month doing art related stuff in an art group or at the local quilt guild, and when I"m able, I squeeze in other time around all of the above.
Timna: At this point in my life I do much of my creative work while my daughter is at school, or in the evenings after she is in bed. Because I like to have a schedule, my daughter's school day really helps me plan my work time. While she is away, I work. When she is home, I'm mom (for the most part!). What I find challenging are the days when I am in a groove and she doesn't have school. Those are especially hard for me to adjust to when they aren't planned - sick kid, snow days etc. On those days, I have my daughter help me do other tasks - sort fabric or arrange quilt blocks on the wall.
Tamara: You've caught me at a funny time because I just moved into a new house with a new and out-of-the-way office space so I'm still adjusting my creative time. Things are different - some easier and some harder. For example, we now live right against some pretty deep woods so I make sure that during the day we go for nature walks and of course, I bring my camera and my two-year-old along. With writing, I wait until her afternoon nap. I used to be able to write more late at night after she's in bed but the recent time change has thrown my evenings off. I'm usually partial to curling up with a book by the pellet stove these days.
Me: Do you schedule your time to work in advance, or “work it in” or both?
Rebecca: After a period of time when I had great anxiety about fitting everything I needed to do into my week, and ending every week feeling like so much was left undone, my husband and I came up with a plan. Every Sunday we print out a blank hourly calendar for the week and fill in every hour with who is taking care of Emmett, everybody's appointments outside the house, and our blocks of work time. We call it our "weekly action plan", and it has not only helped keep me on track in general, it also helps me manage my time between my 2 businesses.
Tamara: I do both. If I have a writing deadline or a backlog of photos to upload, I will specifically ask my husband for a chunk of time, preferably before dinner and before I crash for the day. Other times, inspiration hits at strange times and I find myself writing post-it notes to jot down notes to use whenever I get a chance - preferably when the toddler is asleep!
Me: Do you feel you get enough time to do the work you want to do? If there is a gap between the time you have and the time you feel you need--what’s that gap look like? What prevents you from bridging it?
Rebecca: I never feel like I have enough time. In fact the only reason I have time to answer these questions is because Emmett is sleeping strangely late this morning. I feel like life is going to be a scramble like this until Emmett starts school, because we can't really afford any more daycare right now. I've been toying with the idea of getting up earlier, but it is so hard this time of year!
Audrey: I'm closer to spending the time I want than I ever have been so I feel like I'm heading in the right direction. Gradual change happens gradually. When I've tried to rush it, other things slipped in ways that didn't work and then backfired, so I'm mainly counting on more time opening up as my other responsibilities shift.
Timna: Right now I have more time to work than I ever have, and it's a bit of a luxury. But, there are times when the gap between the time I have, and the time I want/need to work is large. Usually it is when I am fully immersed in a project and I don't want to tear myself away. If I am really focused, I do not want to lose my momentum. Everyone who comes to my house knows when those weeks are - laundry piles up, clutter is everywhere, and we have a lot of sandwiches for dinner. Household tasks get put on hold until the muse has faded into the background again. Unfortunately creative energy does not always coincide with what is most convenient for the rest of life.
Tamara: It's hard and requires juggling and learning what goes first and what can wait, but I do get enough time to do my work. I think lack of energy would be more of a concern than lack of time.
Me: Do you ever feel torn as to how to spend your time? How do you decide?
Rebecca: Not really, I just work as much as I can, and try to be present with the baby when I'm with him. He has recently gotten to an age where he resents me multitasking, and since we do have some help with childcare now I really try to give him my full attention when we are together.
Audrey: YES!!! I usually rely on my projected schedules to keep the big picture in my focus. I also try hard to listen to my body and honor it's messages. I try to eat when I'm hungry, rest when I'm tired, exercise when I'm antsy and sew when I'm eager to sew.
Tamara: I do. If I get those magical 2-3 hours of toddler napping, I have to do quick mental notes so that I spend more time doing and less time worrying what comes first - the teetering pile of dishes, the TV shows on the DVR, and of course, writing or photography.
Me: When my son was very little, I resolved to never to housework while he slept--that was time for me or my creative work only. Do you have any personal “rules” as to how to work everything in and care for yourself? For example, “I won’t choose work over sleep,” or “I only paint while the kids are in school” etc.
Rebecca: I don't have any rules, but I probably should get some! One of the things we were able to do with the "weekly action plan" was to schedule some time in for things other than work or childcare. I found that spending an hour or two a week on "me time" things, like exercise, or working in the garden, is hugely helpful psychologically. Without that I was starting to feel like life was a relentless cycle of responsibilities. So I guess that's my one rule, block out a little time for non-work, non-childcare activities.
Audrey: I had a creative writing teacher who told of her rule to not write until the dishes were done. For a while I had the opposite rule that I couldn't do dishes until I'd visited my sewing studio. It didn't really work for me. I let go of it. I do prioritize my physical and mental health over everything else. Sometimes my creative work feeds me, sometimes it drains me. I have to watch it.
Timna: My only "rules" about working and taking care of myself: I try to get enough sleep, and eat regular meals. Both my family and the work suffer when I'm tired and cranky!
Tamara: I don't usually have to. If I write at the expense of food or sleep it's only because they weren't really working for me during that particular time anyway. It's nearly impossible to write while I'm caring for my daughter but on rare occasions in which the writing bug hits and I can't stop it no matter what I do, I set her up in the playroom next to my office. It's not ideal but it does work.
Thank you Rebecca, Audrey, Timna, and Tamara for making time in your full lives to be part of this month's Roundtable! Show them some love by visiting their blogs & shops and saying hello!
Are you a Creative Mama? Join the Roundtable!
As always, thank you for reading! xoxo
Maeg
