
It's the New Year. Time for post-it notes, planning, resolutions, and goals.
I've got none of those at the moment.
It was wonderful to take a break from computer-land, to see long-lost loved ones, climb a tree, and lay in bed reading Steve Jobs' biography and knitting.
I also thought that somewhere in there I'd be setting goals, making a giant wall of post-its, and getting dizzy about sharpening a fresh set of ambitions. Because, after all, aren't I here to inspire you?
You know what? I'm without a single chart, plan, or goal for 2012, save following my own curiosity and inner compass on how to get started.
As uncomfortable as that feels right now, I'm not willing to rush the process.
It is January, after all. A season of folding inward and hibernating. And you all know how I feel about honoring seasons.
Havi summed it up perfectly for me today:
I’m setting up January to be slow and contemplative rather than following the bigger cultural push to be busy doing and creating.
In fact, I am just now realizing how dissonant and incongruent it seems (to me!) to try to follow that cultural push at a time when my body wants to be in hibernation.
I'm letting go of goals, for the moment. In fact, I'm considering having no goals at all. And resolutions? I'm feeling skeptical of their root word, resolve. Seems so hardened, so teeth-clenched, so marching forward.
In previous years I've taken great pride in my organized, balls-to-the-walls approach to reviewing, planning, and setting goals toward making my various dreams come true.
Complete honesty: In many ways all that strutting has only led me to feel good about how balls-to-the-wallsy I am. And kept me busy, but still dreaming.
Whoa. So I did a little post- Shiva Nata shavasana (yoga naptime) on the idea of goals and this phrase jumped into my mind: enter as I wish to be in it.
Which of course, I had heard before.
In this case, it had a particular meaning:
That my work toward my goals have the same qualities as the dreams I am trying to achieve.
Play. Experimentation. Freedom. Curiousity. Creativity.
Pliant. Soft. Free. Joyous. Loving.
Oh. Wow. No balls or walls there.
Seems unsurprising that a hardass approach hasn't gotten me where I want to go, no?
So here I am, in this space, with one foot in 2011 and one in 2012.
I'm looking in both directions. I'm taking it all in. The calendar page is turning whether I'm ready or not, and I don't need to have everything just-so to continue into this year. I'm starting with a little bit of unknowing, play, and experimentation.
I'd love to hear about the inner start of your year, your own experience, thoughts, and approach. Balls and walls welcome, of course! As is unknowing.
xoxo Maeg